I am way to hard on myself

I was blessed to be born and or to have learned self motivation, a driven personality or whatever you want to call it. But at times it can really get in the way. The last two days I put in two long hikes that wore me out. Mentally I felt great. Physically I was beat. Days before that I did low miles and physically I felt great but beat myself up mentally. I really want to be home by mid August for Baby Bear’s 21st bday and for Pumpkin Bear’s beginning football season. Since I have come to the realization I can’t keep doing high miles I won’t be home for either. I had a mental breakdown this morning as Hubby Bear was dropping me off to hit the trail. I bawled my eyes out so upset that I can’t do long days cuz I am so tired of being hurt and in pain. As I walked away tears flowed down my checks and all I can hear is “I am so proud of you, you are doing great”. Hubby Bear is so awesome. I could not do this without him. 

I proceeded up the trail for a very nice mild and easy warm up hike. Then the trail went straight up. More hand over hand climbs which I love. I was blessed with this view bright and early. Just what I needed to reminde why I am out here. 

A good cry and a refreshing sunrise view does a body and mind good. 

Last night’s storm was not quite as pleasant for the trail though. It left a mess of toppled over trees and debris. Glad the storm was ahead of us. 






Elevation was relatively low today but I went up and down all day making it a tough hike but fun. I love to climb rocks. At one time I was doing a hand over hand scramble and the hikers above knocked a rock loose and it came tumbling down my way. They didn’t know I was there. Thank goodness it continued in a different location instead of mine. 

This hiker, Scott Jurek is trying to break the record for the fastest through hike. Jennifer Davis holds is now. He was behind us yesterday somewhere. We saw his support trail runner “hiking” actually running in to meet him. At our extraction point his support van pulled up.  

van in back is Scott Jurek’s

That’s pretty cool to be on the trail at the same time as a possible record holder. 


Each road crossing there was tons of water trail Magic. I left it for hikers who didn’t have a Hubby Bear to help them. NJ and NY water sources don’t look too appealing. 

I finished the day completing a little over 12 miles and not in any pain. I need to stop being so hard on myself and enjoy my accomplishments even if they aren’t as lofty as I would hope. I have decided, actually the trail and my body had a conversation without me and they decided for me that my daily mileage needs to stay between 12-15 miles a day. That should keep this Black Bear hiking happy. 

Happy Hiking. 

Emily M. Leonard

About Emily M. Leonard

I am a 50 year old Maine native and lover of the outdoors. Former Physical Education teacher and soccer coach. I am Married to the best husband ever and gave up teaching and coaching to raise our two wonderful sons. I have always enjoyed being outside and on the go.